Romance: How to keep it in your relationship

Romance: How to keep it in your relationship

If you are a long time suffer of our blog, or our daily ezine at goals-4-life.com, you will know that our beat is goal setting, health and parenting. One thing that is essential to at least two of these aspects (health and parenting) is a solid, genuine relationship, where you feel you have the support of your partner, can tell them anything, and are romantic with each other.

Today, we qould like to explore romance, and how important it is for you and your relationship.

Romance is easy in the first stages of a relationship. You can buy your partner flowers, you can take them out to a romantic meal, you can write them a sweet letter. Albeit, as time goes on, couples tend to say that they feel the romance lessen; kids come in the picture; they suddenly feel that their romance is taking a second step.

This is quite sad. Romance is an integral part of any relationship, and with some simple steps, and a small amount of effort it is easy to rekindle. So lets explore romance and what you can do to get it back in your relationship.

• Romantic gestures trigger the memories of falling in love (you remember those euphoria type feelings? These are the ones we are talking about!!!)
• Romance is the show and tell of true love. While women generally need romance more than men (we still need it to!!!), your partner going to an effort to be romantic to you, lets you know that they love you and care for you.
• Behaviour can affect feelings. The beauty of romance is that you can change negative feels to positive feels in you and your partner, just by been a little romantic.

At the end of the day romance is the expression of love through words, gestures, and actions. It is the thoughts behind these words, gestures and actions that make them romantic. The great thing is that they don't have to be big things. A simple picnic, a night out at the movies, a card etc is all you need to start those romantic feelings again.

So our advice for today: If you are lucky enough to have a partner be romantic with them. Think of all the romantic things you can do together. It will be a major boast for you and your relationship!!!

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Self Improvement - Learning from family and friends

Self Improvement: Learning from family and friends
Learning, or been corrected by, family and friends is often one of the hardest things to except. We all like to think that we are in the right, and often get upset or hostile if someone tells us that we are wrong.

However, learning from family and friends is a great way to improve yourself. For one, these are the people that are close to you. In most cases they will only be telling you something if they think it will benefit you, not to hurt you.

They are the people who also know you best. They know your good qualities as well as your bad, and are in a good position to provide advice.

Next time someone close to you offers advice, don’t take it to heart. Thank them for caring and then actively think about how beneficial it can be for you to think of things from a different perspective.


Cheers Andrew Collings

Health: What exercise should you do

What exercise should you do

If you watch the news or read main stream exercise reports, you would that aerobic, slow placed exercising is the best for you. Hear at goal setting, health and parenting we take a different view – as we seem to on many things.

Aerobic exercise makes your body fit for long distance running and slow activities. This is not bad in itself, however it does compromise your heart. Your heart becomes smaller, and while more efficient at running longer distances, it is less capably of beating faster when you need it to – eg in times of stress.

To build reserve into your heart, you need to undertake short term repetition work. The perfect exercise is hill sprints. Start with a set of 8-10 hill sprints 2 – 3 times a week. Start out at 50% and work your way up to 90% by the last repetition. This will not only build muscle and make you burn fat, but it will also improve your hearts health.

As always, please consult a Doctor!!!

In other news…

Your editor has not written for a few days as he has been off sick.

Being sick really makes you appreciate how important health is. If it is not one of your top goals, you should seriously think about making it one.

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Health: What supplements should you take

What supplements should you take

Today, I would like to focus on types of nutritional supplements you should be taking. If you recall, in yesterday’s article we looked at whether supplements were required or not required. To briefly summaries: Given the fast pace world we live in, and current agricultural practices, we are not getting the nutrition we require from foods, and thus supplements – in one form or another – are beneficial to help maintain your health and to minimise disease.

If we were to believe the news or other supplement advertising, you would be buying 20 or 30 different supplements a day. However, there is no need for you to do that. At most there should be four things you should be taking.

These are:

Coenzyme Q 10
Multi Vitamin
Fish Oil (or any Omega 3,6,9 balances)
Vitamin C

Lets go through these in a bit of detail

CoQ10: is a fat-soluble vitamin-like substance present in every cell of the body and serves as a coenzyme for several of the key enzymatic steps in the production of energy within the cell. It also functions as an antioxidant which is important in its clinical effects. It is naturally present in small amounts in a wide variety of foods but is particularly high in organ meats such as heart, liver and kidney, as well as beef, soy oil, sardines, mackerel, and peanuts. To put dietary CoQ10 intake into perspective, one pound of sardines, two pounds of beef, or two and one half pounds of peanuts, provide 30 mg of CoQ10. CoQ10 is also synthesized in all tissues and in healthy individuals normal levels are maintained both by CoQ10 intake and by the body's synthesis of CoQ10. It has no known toxicity or side effects.
Most people are defincient in CoQ10 because of our diet. The benefits of CoQ10 have been seen in heart patients, cancer patients and other diseases.

Recommended dose is between 50mg and 100mg a day.

Multi-Vitamim: One of the most commonly asked questions is "Why should I take a multivitamin supplement?" It is estimated that seven out of ten Americans take dietary supplements. Why? Because vitamins and minerals are essential nutrients that the human body alone can not manufacture in sufficient quantities to provide the foundation for all normal biological functions. Vitamins and minerals are required for normal metabolism, growth, and general well being. A single deficiency of any vitamin or mineral can endanger the whole body. Many people believe they are eating the 'right' foods, and getting the proper amount of essential nutrients in this way. And, of course, eating a balanced diet is one way to obtain the vitamins and minerals you need.
The problem is, few of us get a truly balanced diet. According to one U.S. Government survey of 21,000 people, not a single person obtained 100 percent of the Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) for each of ten basic nutrients. Processing, storing, or even cooking can reduce the vitamin content of foods. Foods can also be adversely affected by chemical fertilizers, pesticides, and soil conditions. Nutrients are also adversely affected by heavy smoking, alcohol consumption, and numerous health conditions including obesity and chronic illness.
Your multivitamin should contain a full range of vitamins and minerals to meet essential nutritional needs. For example, the average diet frequently provides less than the recommended daily allowance for zinc. A low-dose supplement (15 mg per day) can fill in dietary gaps. Statistics show that over 65% of American diets are deficient in Zinc. Zinc is considered the most important mineral for proper immune system function. Magnesium is also an important element available in multivitamin form, and is also in a majority of American diets. A lack of this essential mineral can lead to fatigue, abnormal heart rhythms, muscle weakness and spasm, depression, loss of appetite, listlessness, and potassium depletion.

Dosage: Daily

Fish Oil: There is a lot of controversy surrounding fish oil, particularly in contaminated fish. If you are eating organic Atlantic salmon three times a week then you probably don’t need it, if you aren’t then you should consider it.

Our bodies need essential fatty acids, and in fact the majority of our brain is made up of them, yet our diet generally does not include them. There should be a balance between Omega 3 and Omega 6, some experts recommend two times more Omega 3 than Omega 6.

By taking fish oil, you will be looking after your brain, your cardiovascular system and also your joints, which the oils keep lubricated.

Dosage: Minimum 3 tablets a day.

Vitamin C: Is a powerful antioxidant. A recent study from Oregon University has also shown that Vitaman C, breaks down fat metabolism and can also fight cardiovascular disease and cancer.

Dosage: Whatever your countries recommended dosage is!!! There is wide debate on the amount required, and unless we plan to do a thesis here, have no chance to cover it.

So that’s it…take these supplements, eat healthily and exercise regularly, and you will look and feel a million dollars.

Goal Setting: Problem solving

Goal Setting – Problem Solving

“the problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem”.
Theodore Rubin

With goal setting, as with everything, problems do arise. So what do you do when you encounter a problem.? Firstly, remember that the best time to solve a problem is always in its early stages. Also remember that, when solving problems you may not always be able to find a perfect answer. So what do you do, good problem solving requires mental effort, clear thinking, courage, patience, self-discipline, skill and experience.

Today we will highlight some of the traps people fall into, so you can avoid them.

Anchoring: This is giving to much weight to what we first see or hear about a problem. Learn more about the problem and you may find that it is not that big a deal and that the first information you got was not accurate.

Sticking with the status quo: It often seems easier to stick with things the way they are. Sometimes to solve a problem you need to think outside the box and to do things differently. And remember to take action. Not taking action does feel safer, but you want achieve results.

Not cutting your losses: Sometimes you can make a mistake and stick with it and keep losing. Look at the problem from a strategic level and see if this has happened to you.

Seeing what you want to see: We all fall for this…making a problem look like it is good. The best way to solve it is to get a second opinion!!!

Health

Benefits of Blueberries (courtesy of essortment.com)

Are you eating blueberries? If not you might want to reconsider this wonderful food that is so good for you.
The dye that is released from the blueberries' skin may well be the most valuable nutrient the fruit has to offer. The pigments in blueberries and also in red crops such as cherries, plums, and red cabbage are powerful antioxidants. They have been determined to be a much-heralded chemical warrior against heart disease and also cancer. Blueberries actually have the highest antioxidant capacity because of their large anthocyanin concentration.



Antioxidants in our food can save us from virtually everything. Most of our health misfortunes are due to the perversity of oxygen. Our cells are perpetually besieged by toxic forms of oxygen which have been proved to have fierce destructive powers. So far scientists have linked destructive oxygen reactions to at least sixty different chronic diseases, as well as to aging itself. Oxygen free radicals can attack DNA, the genetic material of cells, causing them to mutate, which is a step on the path to cancer.
One of the great revelations of the last few years, according to a massive and growing body of evidence, is that you may be able to eat your way out of this dilemma insofar as the boundaries of human life span and genetics allow. You can supply your cells with antioxidant food compounds that strike down, intercept and extinguish rampaging oxygen molecules and even repair some of their damage.
Blueberries are not only a powerful antioxidant but also have been proved to preserve vision. Blueberry extract, high in compounds called anthocyanosides, has been found in clinical studies to slow down visual loss.
A recent study was done in a Boston laboratory by putting one group of young rats on a blueberry-rich diet and another on regular chow. Then the scientist exposed both groups to 48 hours of concentrated oxygen, stirring up in two days the amount of free radical damage that normally takes 20 rat months, or 75 humans to accumulate. Brain cells in the chow group became less responsive to neurotransmitters associated with short-term memory. The brains of the blueberry stuffed rats did not change. He also found that the fruit prevented the kind of short-term memory loss that comes with aging. Blueberries actually stave off declines in brain cell's ability to send messages to one another.
There are types of blueberries and the most potent ones are Bilberries, as they have the virtuous pigment in their flesh as well as in their skin, thus they pack a greater anthocyanin wallop. Wild blueberries are also high on the list because they contain less water. All blueberries are very rich with antioxidants. If you don't have them available in your area fresh then purchase the frozen blueberries in the bag in your grocery.
Now if you add blueberries to your pancake mix or just put them on top of a stack of pancakes remember if you smoother them with the saturated fat of butter or a sugary syrup you'll not have a healthy breakfast. Try blending frozen blueberries into your shakes in your blender.



Parenting

In today’s article we will look out some key tips for how to develop children of character.

Make parenting first: As hard as it is sometimes, we have to put parenting first, yes even over the new plasma if required!!! Make parenting and spending time with your kids one of your major goals, and you will have much more involvement in shaping their developments.

Spending times: It can be difficult to find time for your children with work and social commitments, but it is definitely an investment that pays off. Try and find at least an hour a day of “quality” time with them.

Lead by example: Yes…they do copy us, as far as possible (and we all go off the band wagon from time to time) display behaviours you would like to see in them.

Make a big deal of the family meal: Try to sit down for dinner at the table together, with no television on. The conversation at the table will be one of the most valuable you will have.


In other views


Your editor had dinner with his wife at the Melba Brassiere on Melbourne’s South Bank last night. It was the first dinner in about 3 months that your editor has had without the kids. The range of food is superb; it is a buffet with roasts, sea food, Indian and a noodle bar. There is also a fantastic array of deserts. With stunning views over the Yarra, and good food it made for a great evening.

After the meal, on the way back to the car, your editor suggested that they go to the top of the Eureka Tower – Melbourne’s newest and tallest building. The building has a look out tower, with a platform, that once entered is mechanically moved so that it juts out of the building. The frosted glass on the floor then clears to reveal the ground some 300m below. It makes you feel like you are standing in mid air.

Your editor is an ex rock climber and loves heights, his wife, not quite so keen. With sweaty palms she walked towards the building.
‘Lets not do this…I feel to nervous’ she said
‘come on, it will be fun’ countered your editor
‘enjoy the view by yourself because I’m not going…lets go shopping at 24 hour k-mart instead’.
‘oh goodie’ your editor replied!!!


P.S. Sorry we did not write an article on Friday…we unfortunately had a funeral to attend.

Time Management: The key to success is what you don't do

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Time Management: The key to success is what you don’t do
Health: Are you drinking enough water?
Parenting: How to correct a teenager?


Time Management: The key to success is what you don’t do

Time is a funny thing, people always say that they never have enough time. However, each day we all have the same amount of time – we just choose to use it differently. A person in a hospital bed can achieve more than people in an office job if they focus on what they want done.

A old time management rule states that “Success depends on what you neglect”. There is a lot of wisdom in those words. If you want to achieve a goal, simply focus on what is important and neglect the unimportant. This in itself, can have problems if your goals aren’t well defined. Luckily, Goals-4-Life readers won’t have that problem because they have well planned out long term goals, which consider wealth, healthy, family and community/spirituality!!!

So today we would like you to focus on what is important and will help you achieve your goals. Each morning prepare a daily to-do-list and focus on what tasks you would like to accomplish. Highlight the most important task, even if they are the hardest, and do those first. If you don’t finish your whole list, this is no huge problem – you have already completed the main tasks that you needed to undertake to achieve your goals. Anything else is just a bonus.

In addition to the above, we would also like to highlight the 80/20 rule. It take 80 percent of the time to do the last 20 percent of the work. When looking at detail, and how long it will take, ascertain how important it is for your goals and for your life. If it isn’t important, maybe your time could be better spent doing something else.

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Here’s to your success.

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Healthy: Water are you getting enough?

Many people focus on eating the right foods and doing the right exercise programs; however they fall short when it comes to drinking enough water.

Lets look at some of the facts to start. Seventy to eighty percent of your body is made up of water. If you weigh 60kg, then 45kg will be water. Imagine how you would look without water!!!

So if your body is made up of 70 to 80 percent water, how much water do you need to drink? Studies have shown that a figure anywhere between 2 litres a day and 3 litres a day is required (the difference is based on climate, exercise during the day, and different dietary needs).

Sound like a lot. Fortunately, you do need to drink the 2-3 litres by itself. Many fruits, vegetables even whole grains contain water. So you are able to supplement some of your water with this. Eg Watermelon is 98 percent water – if you eat 200 grams you have had 196 mills of water.

However, there is also a down side. Drinks such as coffee and coke, actually have a directic effect, which means that your body can’t retain the water. So…these drinks don’t can’t.

There are many benefits to drinking water, elimination of disease etc (we will touch on these in another issue), so try your best to drink between 2-3 litres a day.

Parenting: How to give constructive criticism to a teenager

Criticism is hard to give at the best of times, to a teenager it can be out right dangerous!!! In today’s article we look at some simple ways to make criticism easier.

First, while teenagers are getting close to adulthood, there are still times where boundaries need to be discussed, and certain behaviours need to be corrected. Lets look at how this should be done.

Pick an appropriate time, Make sure it is not in front of their friends, or when they are stressed with work/homework.
Be specific about the exact behaviour – point out the one thing you would like to discuss.
Focus on the behaviour, not on them personally.
Mention positives (I am sure there are 100 positive things that they do)
Stay in the present – if you dig up previous issues the conversation will quickly deteriorate.
Understand why you feel the way you do.
Invite an explanation (there might be a good one!!!).
Stay in control – don’t lose it.
Separate facts from feelings
Know when to stop – if you keep pushing you will get resistance
Offer forgiveness and options.

There you have it. While not fool proof, the next time you need to have “one of those chats” it might just be a little more pleasant, and most importantly, you might get a more positive outcome.

In other views

It was beautiful weather in Melbourne on the weekend. On Sunday it got up to 33 degrees. Your editor went to his nephews birthday party, and then spent a lot of time with the kids in the pool.

Your editors three your old son is learning to swim, and spends most of his time in the pool, on a little blow up boat. Your editor decided it would be fun to once again jump on the boat with him. Rather than sitting flat down your editor stayed on his knees. This meant that the blow up went under the water where is knees were, and must to his son’s distaste, the boat started taking on water.

He screamed. His mum ran out to see what was wrong. She found him neck height in water with her husband behind him, on a now submerged boat, trying to paddle to the side!!! She grabbed the paddle and brought them to the side of the pool.

‘I never want you to go in the boat with me again Daddy’ Joel said as he dried himself by the pool.

‘It’s a deal’.

Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Parenting: five things to tell the kids

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Goal Setting – Don’t let worrying get in the way of your goals
Health: Chocolate – how to limit yourself
Parenting: 5 Things to tell the kids


Goal Setting – Don’t let worrying get in the way of your goals

The French Philosopher Montaigne wrote, “Me life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened”

Worrying is often listed as a key reason why people don’t achieve their goals. People worry about what will happen if they don’t achieve, and also what will happen if they do!!! (the fear of success).

Today we look at three things you should do to keep your worrying at bay.

What is the worst that can happen
Accept the worst and move on
Try and make the “worst” better

The fact is, things can happen, and whether you like it or not, life isn’t always fair. But this should not stop you from achieving your goals. Always consider the worst thing that can happen. Ask yourself the question, can you live with it? If not, don’t do the task. If so, go ahead and do it. Always remember, that even when the worst happens, you can use it to your advantage and build on it.

Instead of thinking about all the negative things, and fretting, think about them once and accept them. Once you have accepted, move on and fill your mind with tranquil thoughts, and positive thoughts. If you don’t do this, the negative thoughts will begin to take over, and will consume you and your goals.

At the end of the day, if you think positively, have faith in a God, and trust in the tasks you are doing, you will be better off on all levels.

Healthy: Chocolate – how to limit yourself

Ok…so most of us love chocolate. Infact, about 70% of the population would call themselves chocoholics – at least it is better than some additions!!!

While there are several benefits from chocolate – particularly dark chocolate which has some cardiovascular benefits, the benefits are only derived if you eat a small amount, say three standard pieces a week. Anything more than that and you off set the benefits from spiking your insulin levels with the amount of sugar you are absorbing.

In today’s article we will look at a tried and tested way for you to minimise your chocolate consumption. Lets get into it.

Step 1: Buy only the best chocolate
There are two reasons for this. One, high quality chocolate is better for you as it has less chemicals, and two. Once you taste it, you won’t go back to normal chocolate!!! Meaning you have to either keep eating high quality chocolate or not eat any at all.

Step 2: Buy chocolate individually wrapped and one at a time.

If you buy chocolate in bulk, chances are you will eat it in bulk. If you buy chocolate individually wrapped, and one at a time, you are minimising your risk of over eating. To add a bit of fun, make sure that you only buy your chocolate from the one store – chances are if you eat it a lot you will get a bit embarrassed by going back to the same store five times in one night!!!

Step 3: Appreciate the chocolate

If you have seen the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” you will know what we are talking about. Smell the chocolate, let it melt in your mouth, as apposed to wolfing it down as fast as you can.

Step 4: Stick to the above for 12 weeks

If you can stick to the above for 12 weeks you will have changed your tastebuds, and have slowly lowered your chocolate consumption. If you have made it through 12 weeks you have changed your habit.

Parenting: 5 Things to Tell the Kids

We have a long article today detailing how to tell the kids that you are getting divorced. The article has been written by our friend Rosalind Sedacca, from www.childcentereddivorce.com who is an occasional contributor to Goals-4-Life. I am sure you will all enjoy the article!!!

5 Must-Tell Messages
to Prepare the Kids for Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their children about their pending divorce. I know first-hand because many years ago I went through the experience. I fought and faced the overwhelming emotions. The deep gut-wrenching fear. The continuous anxiety. The incredible guilt. And the oppressive weight of shame.

My son, after all, was innocent. A sweet, gentle soul who loved his father and mother dearly. He certainly did not deserve this.

I struggled with the anxiety for weeks in advance. When should I tell him? How should I tell him? Should we tell him together? And most frightening of all, WHAT SHOULD WE SAY?

How do you explain to a child that the life he has known, the comfort he has felt in his family setting, is about to be disrupted – changed – forever?

How do you explain to a child that none of this is his fault?

How do you reassure him that life will go on, that he will be safe, cared for and loved, even after his parents divorce?

And, even more intimidating, how do you prepare him for all the unknowns looming ahead when you’re not sure yourself how it will all turn out?

I needed a plan. A strategy. A way of conveying all that I wanted to say to him at a level of understanding that he could grasp.

Thankfully I found that plan. I came up with a storybook that told my son, in words and pictures, the story of how his father and I met, married and started a family. It explained problems we encountered that we could not readily fix, and the decision we ultimately made to get a divorce.

In my new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?, I provide a fill-in-the-blanks template that other parents can use to prepare their children for the many changes ahead. The interactive format allows parents to customize the story to fit their family dynamics. It also focuses on five key messages that are essential for every child to hear, understand and absorb. By sharing and repeating these five points to your children in the weeks and months following the initial conversation, you will enable them to better handle, accept and even embrace the challenges and changes they will soon be facing. Here are the five must-tell messages for your children:

1) This is not your fault.

Mom and Dad have been having problems. We don’t agree about certain key issues and that creates conflict. Even when some of the issues are about you, that does not mean you are to blame. You are an innocent child who we both love and cherish. It is not your fault that Mom and Dad disagree about your bedtime, where to go on vacation, how to help you with your homework or whether you should play soccer. We are not fighting about YOU. We are disagreeing with each other about issues that concern you and our family. But you are not in any way at fault.

2) Mom and Dad will always be your parents.

No matter what changes occur over the weeks, months and years ahead, one thing is for certain. Mon and Dad will still always be your parents. No one else will ever be your real Mom. No one else will ever be your real Dad. We will both always love you and be there for you, no matter where we live or how things should change.

3) This is about change, not about blame.

Divorce is a scary word. But all it really means is that our family will be experiencing some changes. Change is okay. Everything in life keeps changing. You grow bigger, taller, stronger and smarter every year. The seasons change every year. Clothing styles and hair styles keep changing. You change grades and schools as you grow older. Change means things will be different in some ways. It doesn’t mean things will be bad. Change can be fun, exciting and new. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to changes, like beginning a new grade with a new teacher. Other times change gives us a chance to do things in a new and better way, like trying a new sport or a hobby you grow to love.

The change in our family is not about who’s right or wrong or who’s good or bad. Mom and Dad both tried their best to resolve our problems. The old way didn’t work for us and now we will be trying a new way for our family to live so there’s more peace, calmness and happiness for us all. Instead of worrying about who’s to blame, let’s think about how we can see the changes ahead as a new adventure -- a brand new chapter in our lives. Who knows what lies ahead?

4) Things will work out okay.

We’re often frightened when we begin new things and face new challenges. Like the first time you learned to ride a bicycle, the first day of school or day camp, your first trip to the dentist. Things always have a way of working out, even when we’re scared that they won’t. Divorce will be the same way. Things will be new and different for a while.

We’ll have new ways of doing some things … some new responsibilities ... some differences in our schedules. But life will go on. We will get used to the differences. Some of them we may even prefer. And after a while, we’ll look back and say, life is different than it used to be, but it’s all okay. I’m okay, our family is okay and, most important of all, we still love each other. That is a lot better than okay. It’s great!

5) Mom and Dad will always love you.

No matter what happens, no matter what changes occur, one thing is for certain. Mom and Dad will always love you. That will never change. Regardless of where we live, what we do and how old you get. You can count on that. And don’t ever forget it.

These core messages are the foundation your children will depend on when they are feeling frightened, sad or insecure. Repeat them often in your own words and your own style. You’ll be rewarded in countless ways as you and your children encounter and overcome the challenges of life after divorce.

* * * *

Rosalind Sedacca, Certified Corporate Trainer and relationship seminar facilitator, is the author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to preparing your children -- with love! The book provides expert advice which helps you to create a unique personal family storybook that guides you through this difficult transition with optimum results. To learn more, go to http://www.howdoitellthekids.com. Rosalind can be reached at Rosalind@childcentereddivorce.com. For free articles on child-centered divorce and a free ezine, go to http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.


In other views

Your editor and his wife spent the weekend seeing friends, swimming and most importantly, searching the house up and down for some lost money.

We think the culprit is our one year old daughter, who has a habit of placing car keys in bins, and hiding bills or letters.

We made the mistake of leaving a money bag full of notes on our kitchen table which our daughter can now reach. Oh well, at least we have now learnt that we should keeps things out of reach!!!

In other news, our four year old went to her first dance rehearsal for the end of year concert. If you recall from previous ezines, we think that the instructor takes it way to seriously.

The rehearsal went for four hours, of which most children only danced for about 2 minutes. My wife reported back that there seemed to be some annoyed parents.

One mother stated
‘I am not paying over $1000 a year for my child to learn one dance, what’s with the arm things anyway…I could teach her that at home!!! Its like they only learn one dance so they look good at the concert, but don’t learning anything of real value’

Another mother replied
‘But if they do the same thing each week then it will be memorised, and they can build skills on that’.

My wife made the wise move of staying out of the argument. We will see how much value the rehearsals have been in a few weeks. At the very least my daughter has learnt discipline and how hard you have to work if you want to be good at something.

That said, I hope this is the ballet instructor’s goal, and that they are not just trying to feed their own ego’s.

I will take any readers feedback on this: enquiry@goals-4-life.com

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Goal Setting: Set effective goals

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Goal Setting – Set effective goals
Health: benefits of grape seed oil
Parenting: sing parenting


Goal Setting – Guidelines to help set effective goal

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:
State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively - 'Execute this technique well' is a much better goal than 'Don't make this stupid mistake.'
Be precise: The more specific you are the easier it will be to achieve your goals
Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
Write goals down: Something magical happens when you write down a goal – keep doing this!!!
Keep low level goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it.
Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible.
Set realistic goals: These are SMART Goals.


Healthy: Benefits of Grapeseed Oil
(source: Igourmet)
Grapeseed Oil has long been the secret of gourmet chefs.. who love it for its light, nutty, yet neutral flavor. It has the unique ability to enhance the flavors of ingredients instead of overpowering them and leaves no greasy aftertaste! It makes savory marinades and salad dressings that will not cloud when chilled, so you can use them right out of the refrigerator. Its high smoke point (485 F) makes it ideal for hot food preparation which means you can sauté, fry or bake without any smoking, splattering or burning. Its excellent emulsification properties make grapeseed oil ideal for whipping mayonnaise and creamy dressings that will not separate when chilled.
Grapeseed Oil is an ecologically sound product that is made from the seeds of grapes after the wine is pressed. It is high in vitamin E and is 76% linoleic acid (also known as Omega 6), an essential fatty acid. It is low in saturated fat, contains natural chlorophyll and valuable antioxidants (known as proanthocyninidins). Studies have shown that grapeseed oil has a unique ability that may significantly raise HDL cholesterol (the "good" cholesterol) and lower LDL cholesterol (the "bad" cholesterol). It has also been shown to lower triglycerides, the effect of which may lower your risk of cardiovascular disease and impotency, something that no other food product has been known to do!

Parenting: Single Parenting

With single parenting becoming far more common, we thought in today’s article we would provide some practical tips on how best to cope with single parenting.

Change of attitude: Accept that this is the situation and it will become easier.
You are the boss: That might actually come as a relief!!! Let your child no this.
Deal with overload: No doubt you will be overloaded. Prioritise the best you can.
Realisation: You are doing the best you can do – realise that and things will be a lot easier.
Create a stable nurturing home: Be consistent and loving – offcourse it won’t always be that easy.
Take care of yourself.
Develop a reliable support system: You need a break sometimes, make sure you have friends etc who can help out. There maybe other people in your situation in your area – you could help each other out.
Don’t treat your child as a peer
Have realistic expectations



In other views

Your editor has just come back from presenting at a conference in Latrobe Valley. The conference was fun, and the free food and drink, as always was appreciated.

After dinner, your editor got a lift back with one of his work colleges. After driving for about 5 minutes he realised that this person might have had a little to much to drink.

‘have you been drinking’
‘not in the last fifteen minutes’

‘how much did you have?’
‘I lost count after my 8th beer…’

“pull over’.

Your editor may have recently written of a car – but at least he doesn’t, and does not promote drink driving!!!

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Parenting: avoid over gratification

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Goal Setting – Find time for reading
Health: Eat more nuts
Parenting: Avoid over-gratification


Goal Setting – Find time for reading

Harvey Mackay was famous for saying “Our lives change in two ways: through the people we meet, and the books we read”. So true.

If there is one thing that successful people, and people who have made a difference in this world have, it is reading books. And not just any books the right books.

You can be surrounded by all the wrong things; people who don’t support you, hostility, negatives etc. However, if you read the right books you can get through it You can fill your mind with all the positives and rise above your situation.

Listed below are some books you can read to get you started.
How I raised myself from failure to success in selling (Frank Bettgar)
Healing words (Larry Dossey M.D)
Think and grow rich (Napoleon Hill)
Developing the leader within you (John Maxwell)
The power of positive thinking (Norman Vincent Peale)
The road less travelled (Scott Peck (M.D)
See you at the Top (Zig Ziglar)

Healthy: Eat more nuts

Nuts are one of the most overlooked foods, and in the past have often received some bad rap – some of which there is justification for. Today, we want to explore nuts, particularly in their shells.

Firstly, save up and buy yourself a nut cracker. Nuts that are still in their shell are so much better for you. Picture a nut in its shell in the same way a egg is in its shell. The shell is what keeps the egg fresh inside, if it gets exposed to air it starts to deteriorate. Same principle. Just for some fun try pre packet nuts and fresh nuts at the same time – you will be amazed at the taste difference.

Nuts provide you with essential oil and nutrients that your body needs. They are healthy for your body and your heart. In fact, a Harvard study showed that people who ate peanuts (even in peanut butter) were 25 percent less likely to have a heart attack.

So next time you do your shopping, add a variety of shelled nuts to your list. Keep then in a bowl on your table with your nut cracker.

Parenting: Avoid over-gratification

In the first few years of a child’s life they need attention, some comfort and offcourse protection. However, if you give your child to much attention it can be damaging to them. Just as much as coke or sweets!!!!

Children who are provided with constant attention will soon learn to expect it. When they don’t get it, the results can be temper tantrums and crying. Luckily there are some simple ways to overcome it.

Put your religion (if you have one) and your marriage first. A healthy marriage is important to provide security in a child’s life. A healthy marriage also means that you help each other out and provide support to each other. This helps your child to develop with self-esteem, autonomy and independence.

In addition, don’t feel the need to put your child in every activity you can think off. You will not only be running around all day, you will also be spending heaps of money. Choose some activities that you think are important and stick to those. Three or four should suffice.

In other views

Your editor’s four year old daughter is practicing for a ballet concert. After looking over the requirements, it looks more like a professional Broadway show than a kids entertaining concert.

There are strict requirements for how she must have her hair, what make-up she must wear (from looking at previous photos they must look like drag queens!!!), and even what underwear she can wear – offcourse parents are not allowed anywhere near the children during the shows (actually perhaps that is a positive!!!)

Your editor wonders if it’s character building for the children, or if the instructors are living their dreams through the kids!!!

Anyway, we shall see how professional the show is. We have the first rehearsal at 9am this Sunday.

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Health: Eat more raw foods

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Time Management: Find time you didn’t know you had
Health: Eat more raw foods
Parenting: Volunteering


Time Management: Find time you didn’t know you had

In today’s article we will look at eight ways you can find time that you didn’t even know you had.

Clean up your desk and reduce paperwork: If things are a mess, it will take you a while to find everything that you need. If things are neat, you will easily find it. Take time out to get your paperwork and your filing system into order.
Get up early. Most successful people get up early and do their most important tasks first. Follow in the footsteps of the successful people and do the same.
Sleep 7-8 hours a nigh. No more no less. If you oversleep you waste time, if you under sleep you will be less productive. Find the balance that is right for you.
Know your body rhythm. Work our when you do your best work. Focus on your key tasks then.
WIN: Ask what is important now – and do it!!!
Delegate: Where tasks can be done by others, ask if they will do it!!! This is an art form in itself.
Use spare time and waiting time wisely: Successful people make the most out of all time, make sure you always have writing material or an educational book with you.
Rest and relax: Find time to rest and relax, you will feel better and be more productive.

Healthy: Eat more raw foods

In our society, we seem to have a love of cooking and heating things. This is especially true for vegetables. Yet, many vegetables can be eaten raw, and in fact, are a lot healthier raw.

For example. Broccoli (although a bad example because you should steam it lightly) losses 87 precent of its nutritional value if you microwave it.

Raw food has an abundance of vitamins, minerals and most importantly enzymes. Raw food can also reduce the chance of overeating, increase healthy and vitality, and reduce the risk of heart disease, cancer and diabetes.

So as a starting point, make some changes in your diet to include raw foods. When you do have to cook foods, try steaming foods first, as foods maintain more of their natural goodness when cooked this way. If you can’t steam try boiling on a stove top. As a last resort use your mircrowave.

Parenting: Volunteering

Have you and your children considered volunteering to do things in your community? If you haven’t you might want to consider it.

Volunteering has many benefits. To the volunteer, it has been proven that there are health benefits such as boosting your immune system. Also when you help others out, chemicals that lift your mood are released into your body making you feel good.

In addition, there are benefits to the community you are helping, and you are also teaching your child the role that we can play in helping others. And most importantly, you will be spending some quality family time together.

So…find some local community/church groups that may need you and your families help – and help them!!!

In other views

Your editor is presenting at a conference in Latrobe Valley on Thursday and Friday of this week. Latrobe Valley is one of the rougher areas in Australia, and is home to numerous power plants, and many strange people.

The valley is made up of 3 main towns, the first of which ‘Moe’ is the butt of many Australian jokes. It has a reputation for moccasins, single mothers and drugs.

But the people of Moe are fighting back. No longer do they want their town to be spelt the traditional way, they want it changed, and they want to bring more class to the name.

So dear reader, in “The Age” one of Victoria’s main newspapers, it was proposed to change the name to “Moet”. Much more classy!!!

We wonder if it will take more than a name change to change the socio economic status of the town. We shall see what the Valley has to offer.

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Time Management: Do you have good listening skills

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

To subscribe to this free ezine please visit www.goals-4-life.com

In today’s issue:
Time Management – do you have good listening skills
Healthy – Soy products: Good or Bad?
Parenting – Tips for travelling with young children

Time Management: Do you have good listening skills?

Would you believe that good listening skills save time? Wouldn’t it be great if you could fully understand what someone meant the first time and didn’t have to ring them again for a second conversation to clarify?

Now you can. Simply follow the steps below and you will be come a listening expert.

Look at the speaker
Ask questions
Summarise frequently
Give the speaker time to articulate their thoughts
Remain poised
Respond with nods and ‘uh-hums’
Look alert and interested
Let the other person finish
Finally: Check understanding and that you are both on the same track.

Health – Should you consume soy products?

Soy products have been getting a lot of good press lately, as a healthy alternative to dairy products. However, if you read between the lines, and do a little research, there are no substantive benefits to using soy.

In fact soy products, through tests over the last 20 years, are believed to be linked to the following problems:

Malnutrition
Digestive distress
Thyroid disfunction
Heart disease
Cancer

It’s best to avoid Soy products wherever you can.

Parenting – Tips for Travelling with Young Children

You have probably been there before. You have a four hour drive ahead of you. The car is packed, and you are ready to start the journey.

10 minutes down the road, your car is completely trashed, food is everywhere, your kids are fighting and you can’t hear the radio over the screaming. On top of that, your chair gets systematically kicked very 7 seconds. What do you do.

Below we have some simple techniques that can help.
Bring games (ones that are safe for the car). This will distract the kids for at least 20 minutes.
Play eye spy or other games that don’t need any equipment.
Bring music that the kids like
Talk to your kids.
If there are two adults in the car – and room in the back seat – sit next to them.
If you have a portable DVD player, bring that.
Plan breaks ever one and a half hours – your kids will thank you for it.
Bring appropriate food and drinks.
When you stop, try and find playgrounds etc, or encourage your children to exercise.

So there we have it – some simple techniques that will help make your next long car trip a bit more enjoyable.


In other views…

Your editor was watching cable TV the other night and saw a documentary on, an obese 17 year old in the United States named John. What was unique was that this boy weight over 400 pounds and was close to having a heart attack and a stroke.

The poor boy needed to have a gastric bypass to help lose weight. Because everything else had failed. When looking at what the family ate for dinner every night your editor thinks he knows why.

In the whole documentary, the family didn’t appear to eat fruit or vegetables once – most nights they had pizza and coke for dinner!!!

And finally, out cat’s kitten is now four weeks old. If there is any reader who is interested in having the kitten for free please tell us!!! If you live outside of Australia we can even arrange transport. Please send an email to enquiry@goals-4-life.com


Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Parenting: How to do it on the cheap

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s issue:
Goal Setting – high level goals
Healthy – St Johns Wort
Parenting – How to do it on the cheap

Goal Setting – High Level Goals

As part of your goal setting you need high level goals. Hear at Goal-4-Life, our system is quite simple. Have long term goals (eg around 10 years), have yearly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals and a daily to-do-list. This way you never feel to overwhelmed and you can achieve your goals one step at a time.

So today we will focus on the long term goals. To start with you don’t need a lot of them, really only four.

Health: This should be your big one. If you are healthy you can do more and enjoy life more. Thank about what your long term health objectives are.

Financial: How wealthy do you want to be? How much money do you want in your bank account etc.

Family and Friends: What are your goals with your family. What sort of relationships do you want to have with them and your friends. Do you want more time to spend with them.

Social/Religion: How do you want to benefit the community. What do you want/need to do for your faith?

There it is. The four high levels of goal setting. Once you work out what you want to achieve at a strategic level, you can then focus on the actions you will need to undertake to achieve them.

Health – St John’s Wort Supplement Benefits

With a large percentage of the population in Western Countries taken anti-depressants or deemed to be suffering from depressing, we thought we would take a look at St John’s Wort as an alternative.

Why anti-depressants have a place, they can become addictive and do have a lot of nasty side effects – hallucinations being one of those.

St John’s Wort on the other hand (and don’t worry Wort is just a Middle-English word for plant!!!) is not addictive, and doesn’t have any major side effects.

Best known for use as a mild antidepressant, St. John's wort is also being studied for its possible affects on other mood disorders such as anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. St. John's wort herbal supplements are among the leading medicines used in Germany to relieve the symptoms of mild to moderate depression. People taking St. John's wort show an improvement in mood and ability to carry out their daily lives. Symptoms including sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, exhaustion, and poor sleep also may decrease with the usage of St. John's wort. Used topically, it may have antiviral and antibacterial effects.

If you are one of, or no someone who is, suffering from depression or anxiety then you might want to consider St John’s Wort. Remember though, consult a doctor first before stopping any current medication.

Parenting – On the cheap

With the economy changing in many countries, we thought we would write an article about how to parent when you don’t have much money. Below we have some simple – probably obvious tips – that can help you save money and make your child feel like that are not doing without.

Go to the park or play ground
Try to cook home cooked meals rather than eating out
Get free scrap paper from work for the kids to write on
Visit family and friends (even let your kids have an overnight stay – it will be like a holiday)
Read together
Go to the library (hire books and CD’s or DVD’)
Borrow friends kids DVD’s and lend them some of yours
Let your children have fun in your kitchen – cooking can be cheap!!!

Over the next few weeks we will provide a heap more tips. Parenting doesn’t have to be expensive, and we will provide you with more and more ways that you can save while parenting.

In other views…

The weather is starting to get warmer in Melbourne it was 30 degrees today. The kids have started using our pool. While it is not warm, they don’t seem to notice!!!

Last night we pumped up a plastic boat and we floated on the pool. Your editor was amazed that it actually held his 80kg weight and that he didn’t sink it.

Your editor also realised that he is going to have to teach the kids to swim properly!!! They are learning but still have a bit to go.

Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Goal Setting: 3 simple goal setting questions to ask yourself

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s issue:
Goal Setting – 3 simple goal Setting Questions
Healthy – Fish Oil
Parenting – 9 reasons why you should read out loud to your children

Goal Setting – 3 simple goal setting questions you need to ask yourself

While we provide a lot of goal setting information and advice, and have in-depth goal setting programs, sometimes we need to go back to the basics. In today’s article we will look at the 3 fundamental questions you need to ask yourself, that will help you achieve your goals. The detailed information helps you decide what your goals are, and how to achieve them.

So what are the three questions:

What do I need to stop doing?
What do I need to start doing?
What do I need to do more of?

Simple. Lets use a case study. Say you want to lose weight, how would you answer the above three questions. For question 1, you would need to stop eating large amount of junk foods, and maybe stop drinking alcohol. For question 2, you would need to start eating healthier, and minimising alcohol consumption. For question 3, you would need to do more exercise.

So there you have it, three quick questions you need to ask yourself to help you achieve a goal.

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Health – Fish Oil

Yesterday we wrote an article about Canola Oil, how bad it is for you, and why you should avoid it wherever you can. Today, we will look at an oil that you should be getting more of…Fish Oil.

Listed below are some of the more common benefits of Fish Oil:

Prevent impaired visual and brain development in children
Prevent complication’s in pregnancy
Prevent sudden cardiac death (by around 50 precent!!!)
Prevent stroke
Prevent irregular heart beat
Prevent some form of cancers
Limits cravings for fatty foods
Can prevent depression and anxiety
Prevent diabetes
Prevent eyesight decline

And that’s just the start. Try and have 3 capsules or 6gm a day as a supplement. Because of toxin levels in fish, unless you have access to wild Atlantic salmon, or the like, a supplement is a better option.

Parenting – 9 reasons why you should read out loud to your children

Do you read with your children regularly? If not you might want to consider the benefits after reading the 9 benefits below.

Reading helps bond parents and children
Reading is a shared experience
Reading helps children understand the printed word
Reading develops vocabulary (people with bigger vocabularies generally are more successful)
Reading helps children absorb information
Reading develops listening skills
Reading is an alternative media – and is much better than the TV.
Reading helps children develop a taste for good literature
And finally, reading means that a child learns and is entertained at the same time.

Make it a habit to read with your children at least three times a week.

In other views…

On Saturday your editor went to a school fate at a local primary school. The fate is quite high profile for the area, and had a ferries wheel, a huge slide, show bags and horse rides.

The kids loved the horse rides, and I think are keen on getting horses. The kids convinced your editor it was a good idea to go on the large slide with them. To give you the scale the slide is about 15 metres high and about 60 metres long, it had straight and dip sections. There were three slides in total, or next to each other.

Your editor did not realise that they had just sprayed silicon on the slide to make it more slippery. As he went down on the mat with his almost 3 year old son, he realised just how quick it was. At about halfway down we got airborne!!! We ended up crashing into hay bales at the bottom of the slide.

‘Can we go again dad?’ Your editor son enquired?

‘Ask your mother’



Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Parenting: How to have quality family time

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s issue:
Goal Setting – How to analyse problems
Healthy – Broccoli
Parenting – Quality Family time

Goal Setting – How to analyse problems

In today’s article, we will provide a quick overview on how to analyse problems that you may face in goal-setting. It is simply known as the 1, 2 & 3 of analysing a problem.

Analyse the Symptoms

Identify Possible Causes

Check out the possible causes to see if they are indeed the problem.

The system works well because you are able to identify the exact problem by first working out what the symptoms are, and then running through the possible causes until you can establish a cause.

Lets do an example.

Analyse the symptoms
Motorbike splutters and stops
Identify Possible Causes
No petrol
Faulty Engine
Battery
Check for possible causes
Check petrol tank
Check Engine
Check Battery

Hopefully the above method will help you solve some of your everyday goal setting problems.
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Health – Benefits of Broccoli

If you have been reading the ezine for any length of time you will know that we love broccoli, and that it is loaded with health benefits. Below is a list of further reasons why you should consider it as part of your diet.

Key benefits of broccoli
Broccoli has many benefits as it both builds health and has the potential to prevent cancer. It also helps to lower the risk of stroke and heart diseases and may reduce the risk of cataracts as well. It is rich in nutrients, helps fight anaemia and also lessens the risk of spina bifida. Broccoli activates the body's own detoxifying enzyme systems.

How much broccoli should you eat?
This vegetable is low in calories and can be eaten freely. 170g a day provides over half the daily recommended intake of folate.

Maximising the benefits of broccoli
Broccoli should only be boiled or steamed very briefly, otherwise it can lose a major portion of its beneficial components.

Nutritional values of broccoli

Calories
33
Beta-carotene
575 mcg
Calcium
56 mg
Iron
1,7 mg
Folate
90 mcg
Vitamin C
87 mg
Vitamin E
1,3mg
Zinc
0,6mg
Per 100g raw


Parenting – Spending time with your family

The more positive time you spend with your family, the more likely your family is going to work well, and the less likely your kids are to have problems. Below is a list of activities and things you can do to maximise your time together as a family.

Have breakfast together: Instead of running out the door with toast in hand, try and sit down together in the morning. It will be a great start to the day.

Make chores a team effort: Chores can be fun – and quicker – if you do them all together. You would be surprised at the conversation that can arise during cleaning.

Fun bedtime routine: Do something that works for you and your children. Both of you will then look forward to it.

Book one night a week with your family: One night a week arrange to do something as a family. It will go into the memory books!!!

Play games together: Doesn’t even need an explanation.

Plan holiday’s together: This works especially well as your kids are getting older – they might even want to come.

In other views…

Your editor is now recovering from his car accident. Apart from a hernia which he discovered that he had last night and will have to get fixed, he is ok.

In other news, your editor also discovered that there is a neighbourhood fox, who seems fixated with his bins and rubbish. Each night your editor tries to securely tie down the bin, but the fox still out smarts him. He came face to face with it the other morning…only for a few seconds and then it ran off.

‘I don’t know what I can do to stop the fox opening the bin’ your editor said to his wife.

‘why don’t you put them in the garage instead of leave them outside?’ his wife responded.

‘That could work!!!’


Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Health: Benefits of magnesium

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s issue:
Time Management – 20 steps to successful time management
Healthy – Benefits of Magnesium
Parenting – The good old family meeting.


Goal Setting – Time saving tips

Twenty Steps to Successful Time Management
1. Clarify your objectives. Put them in writing. Then set your priorities. Make
sure you’re getting what you really want out of life.

2. Focus on objectives, not on activities. Your most important activities are those
that help you accomplish your objectives.

3. Set at least one major objective each day and achieve it.

4. Record a time log periodically to analyze how you use your time, and keep bad
time habits out of your life.

5. Analyze everything you do in terms of your objectives. Find out what you do,
when you do it, why you do it. Ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t do it.
If the answer is nothing, then stop doing it.

6. Eliminate at least one time-waster from your life each week.

7. Plan your time. Write out a plan for each week. Ask yourself what you hope to
accomplish by the end of the week and what you will need to do to achieve those
results.

8. Make a to-do list every day. Be sure it includes your daily objectives, priorities,
and time estimates, not just random activities.

9. Schedule your time every day to make sure you accomplish the most important
things first. Be sure to leave room for the unexpected and for interruptions. But
remember that things that are scheduled have a better chance of working out than
things that are unscheduled.

10. Make sure that the first hour of your workday is productive.

11. Set time limits for every task you undertake.

12. Take the time to do it right the first time. You won’t have to waste time doing
it over.

13. Eliminate recurring crises from your life. Find out why things keep going
wrong. Learn to proact instead of react.

14. Institute a quiet hour in your day – a block of uninterrupted time for your most
important tasks.

15. Develop the habit of finishing what you start. Don’t jump from one thing to
another, leaving a string of unfinished tasks behind you.

16. Conquer procrastination. Learn to do it now.

17. Make better time management a daily habit. Set your objectives, clarify your
priorities, plan and schedule your time. Do first things first. Resist your impulses
to do unscheduled tasks. Review your activities.

18. Never spend time on less important things when you could be spending it on
more important things.

19. Take time for yourself—time to dream, time to relax, time to live.

20. Develop a personal philosophy of time – what time means to you and how time
relates to your life.


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Health – Magnesium: Are you getting enough?

Magnesium is a mineral that is essential to many biological processes that occur in the body. Magnesium aids in the body’s absorption of calcium and also plays a key role in the strength and formation of bones and teeth. This means that those at risk for osteoporosis can benefit from taking magnesium.
Magnesium also is vital for maintaining a healthy heart. Magnesium helps stabilize the rhythm of the heart and helps prevent abnormal blood clotting in the heart. Magnesium also aids in maintaining healthy blood pressure levels. The mineral magnesium can significantly lower the chance of heart attacks and strokes, and can even aid in the recovery from a heart attack or stroke.
Magnesium also helps maintain proper muscle function. It works to keep muscles properly relaxed. Because of its benefits in relieving stiff muscles, magnesium can be especially beneficial to fibromyalgia patients.
Most people do not maintain proper levels of magnesium. For this reason, many people would greatly benefit from supplementing their diet with magnesium.


Parenting – Family

Today we will look at the benefits of the old family meeting – something that is often forgotten in our fast past lives.

Family meetings: At least one night a week should be set aside for family meetings. These should be open forum in that everyone should have an opportunity to tell how they feel. A family meeting isn’t the time to punish or discipline but rather to listen to your children's feelings and concerns and to ask them to listen to yours. Only through open, honest communication can a family increase its positive relationships and grow together.
Parenting is hard work. There is no instruction manual for children when they are born. Therefore, we must try new things, hone our skills, learn from and support each other and give ourselves a break when we have rough days. It helps to have a positive attitude.
Remember these two phrases from Janet Lane and Henry Chester. Lane says, "Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.” Chester says, "Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.”


In other views…

Your editor is counting himself lucky after he was in a car crash earlier today. The crash happened at about 6:50am, and his work car was a total write-off and had to be towed away.

Your editor also discovered that air-bags kick like a mule. Looking at the damage to the car he wondered how he was able to walk away and that there was no one seriously injured. A part from being a little sore and having a few bruisers, everything is ok.

At least he can now count his blessings.

Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Time Management: How to hold a good meeting

Goal Setting, Time Management, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s issue:
Time Management – How to hold a good meeting
Healthy – Starting a exercise regime
Parenting – Coping with parenthood


“Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance”
The Australian Army

Time Management – How to Hold a Good Meeting

Meetings have become a common part of the work environment, and are almost always necessary to have if you want to achieve your long term goals. Sooner or later you are going to have to ask the help of someone or meet with a group of people.

Below are some simple rules to make sure yore meetings are time efficient, and have effective outcomes too:

Be open
Ensure that you only speak one at a time
Be factual (not persona) eg detail a problem not a problem person
Raise real issues
No shouting
Focus on the goals
Accept differences
Keep lines of communication open
Speak up
Listen up
Paraphrase to ascertain what people mean
Share understanding
Work to resolve conflicts
Show respect
Have fun
Do what you say you are going to do
Keep minutes
Follow up on actions

If you use the above your next meeting will be much more effective.


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Health – P secrets to help you stick to your exercise regime

In today’s health article we look at the best ways to help you to stick to your exercise regime. Follow these, and exercise will become part of your daily routine in no time.

Set goals: Work out what your exercise goals are, and what you will need to do to achieve them.
What do you like: Focus on activities you like doing, eg bush walking or aerobics classes. That way you will see at least some enjoyment in it rather than exercise as a chore.
Start slowly: Don’t start an Olympic training regime in the beginning. You will be less likely to be able to stick at it, and on top of that you may injure yourself.
Variety is the spice of life: Add some variety to your workout – it will keep you interested.
Have fun: Why would you want to keep exercise if you weren’t at least enjoying part of it.
Daily plan: Add exercise to your daily to do list. You will be more likely to stick at it when its in writing.
Track progress: See how well you have been going.
Rewards: Reward yourself when you reach your mile stones (eg exercised six days per week for four weeks).
Be flexible: If you circumstances change, see where you can fit exercise in.

Parenting – Tips to help make parenting easier

Without a doubt, being a parent is one of the toughest jobs. You have to be fun, strict, sensible and energetic, often all at the same time. In today’s parenting article, we provide some quick advice on how to make the process go a little smoother.

Be aware of how children grow and develop: Grab a few books from the library or do a search on line. If you at least know what you are up against and what to expect, you will be able to better deal with it.

Be wise enough to know that you can do things differently: As hard as it can be try not to get caught in a rut for the way you deal with things. Always look at new ways you can approach problems.

Be strong enough to say you don’t know how to: There are often times that we don’t know how to do something. Once we except this, we become more relaxed, then we can search for the answer to find out how you can do it!!!

Ask for help: At the end of the day, if there are thinks you can’t do, or you need help – ask. I am sure you would do the same for others. There is truth in the saying ‘together we do it better’.

Value yourself: Last of all, value yourself. You are doing a very important job…don’t forget that you are grooming a young child on how to deal with the world.

In other views…

As you may have read in previous emails your editor’s cat had a kitten. To show how observant your editor is; he didn’t even know she was pregnant!!!

Last night we were wondering how the cat was coping with being a mother. The cat, kept walking in and out of the room, and didn’t seem to want to mother the kitten. We were worried that the cat would lose interest in being a mother and we would have to look after the kitten.

After about five minutes the cat when back into the basket and resumed her mothering duties.

‘Maybe she just needs a break’ your editor said to his wife.
‘Hmm, maybe she is suffering from the baby blues…it is day five!!!’ your editors wife replied.

Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Health: Should we have one vegetarian day a week

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Goal Setting – Handling Constructive Criticism
Health: One Vegetarian Day a Week
Parenting: Presenting a united front


Goal Setting – Handling Constructive Criticism

There will be many times in your life when you get criticism; sometimes constructive, and lets face it, sometimes not. How you deal with this criticism is vital to your future success.

For most people the first reaction that they will have for criticism, is a knee jerk reaction where they feel hurt, and in need of defending their actions and offering a countercritisim.

Today, we are going to explore accepting criticism for what it is worth. Now before we go into the details, we would like to clarify that we are not asking you to roll over and accept all criticism; what we are suggesting, is that sometimes the criticism may be true and that the criticism, however badly delivered, could be a good learning experience.

Next time, you are giving criticism, take a deep breath, say thank you for pointing that out to me. Have a quick think, to see if the criticism is accurate. If it is accept it and say…you are right (etc). If you don’t think it is accurate. Simply, say…I will take that on board. You will quickly learn that this will make you feel a lot happier, and if the other person is saying criticism for malice, they will soon loose interest.

We had this experience not to long ago. I was driving with my wife next to me, when she made a comment on how close I was driving to other cars. My first reaction was a knee jerk one, and I took offence. After I had a quick think about it, I realised that there was merit in her words. ‘Your right…I do sometimes drive to close to other cars…thank you for pointing it out to me, I shall try and drive safer’. My wife felt acknowledged, and I started driving safer. Win-Win.

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Healthy: One Vegetarian Day a Week

In today’s article, we look at the concept of have one vegetarian day a week, and the benefits it can have not just for yourself but for the planet.

The concept is not a new one; research has shown that if you stop eating unhealthy food one day a week, you give your body a chance to recover and heal itself. For example, cancer it the cause of mutating cells and genes, this can be directly related to food or environment, particularly, where you body doesn’t have a break from a particular food or environment.

However, we have been reading “Your Heart Your Planet” by Harvey Diamond. Which provides a very different view on being vegetarian one day a week. The view is that, if we are harming ourselves, we are harming the planet. There are two fantastic quotes in the book:

90% of grain produced in the US goes to feeding livestock, and
60 million acres are used to farm crops for human consumption, 1.2billion for livestock.

Also the water levels used to feed livestock are incredible.

So today, we want you to consider being vegetarian for a day as a way to be healthy and also as a way to help the health of the planet. And best of all, there are so many good vegetarian foods, that the day should be a treat rather than a chore.
Parenting: Presenting a uniformed front

Children not only discover things about themselves, but they help parents discover things about themselves to. Any experience that your children have and go through will impact on you personally, as well as on your relationship.

While you and your partner may have different views on how to deal with these situations (eg tantrums, problems with teachers, or boyfriends/girlfriends etc), it is important that you are consistent and have the same view in front of your children.

Before making decisions, if possible discuss with your partner first, and try and reach some middle ground on how to deal with the issue. Of course you won’t always agree, that’s part of married life, but if you provide consistent decision-making, and are consistent in front of your children, you will be doing your child, yourself and your marriage a favour.

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In other views

Your editor, has been watching MTV on cable, because of the Australian ARIA awards. He is a big fan of Australian music, especially Silver Chair, who took out three awards.

Because he has been watching MTV, he has been exposed to MTV shows. Normally he isn’t shocked by many shows, but one show did…’Scarred’.

To paint the picture, it is people crashing skateboards or bikes, and doing serious injuries – this must be where it gets its name from. The injuries are nothing short of horrific; yet you feel like you can’t turn away.

At the start of the show, you are giving a warning not to try any of activities you see – quite strange considering they are accidents. At least, the show will make you appreciate how healthy you are, and may actually be good for your kids to watch if they are considering doing tricks on skateboards or bikes.

Cheers

Andrew Collings

Water: Are you getting enough?

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Time Management: The key to success is what you don’t do
Health: Are you drinking enough water?
Parenting: How to correct a teenager?


Time Management: The key to success is what you don’t do

Time is a funny thing, people always say that they never have enough time. However, each day we all have the same amount of time – we just choose to use it differently. A person in a hospital bed can achieve more than people in an office job if they focus on what they want done.

A old time management rule states that “Success depends on what you neglect”. There is a lot of wisdom in those words. If you want to achieve a goal, simply focus on what is important and neglect the unimportant. This in itself, can have problems if your goals aren’t well defined. Luckily, Goals-4-Life readers won’t have that problem because they have well planned out long term goals, which consider wealth, healthy, family and community/spirituality!!!

So today we would like you to focus on what is important and will help you achieve your goals. Each morning prepare a daily to-do-list and focus on what tasks you would like to accomplish. Highlight the most important task, even if they are the hardest, and do those first. If you don’t finish your whole list, this is no huge problem – you have already completed the main tasks that you needed to undertake to achieve your goals. Anything else is just a bonus.

In addition to the above, we would also like to highlight the 80/20 rule. It take 80 percent of the time to do the last 20 percent of the work. When looking at detail, and how long it will take, ascertain how important it is for your goals and for your life. If it isn’t important, maybe your time could be better spent doing something else.

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Here’s to your success.

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Healthy: Water are you getting enough?

Many people focus on eating the right foods and doing the right exercise programs; however they fall short when it comes to drinking enough water.

Lets look at some of the facts to start. Seventy to eighty percent of your body is made up of water. If you weigh 60kg, then 45kg will be water. Imagine how you would look without water!!!

So if your body is made up of 70 to 80 percent water, how much water do you need to drink? Studies have shown that a figure anywhere between 2 litres a day and 3 litres a day is required (the difference is based on climate, exercise during the day, and different dietary needs).

Sound like a lot. Fortunately, you do need to drink the 2-3 litres by itself. Many fruits, vegetables even whole grains contain water. So you are able to supplement some of your water with this. Eg Watermelon is 98 percent water – if you eat 200 grams you have had 196 mills of water.

However, there is also a down side. Drinks such as coffee and coke, actually have a directic effect, which means that your body can’t retain the water. So…these drinks don’t can’t.

There are many benefits to drinking water, elimination of disease etc (we will touch on these in another issue), so try your best to drink between 2-3 litres a day.

Parenting: How to give constructive criticism to a teenager

Criticism is hard to give at the best of times, to a teenager it can be out right dangerous!!! In today’s article we look at some simple ways to make criticism easier.

First, while teenagers are getting close to adulthood, there are still times where boundaries need to be discussed, and certain behaviours need to be corrected. Lets look at how this should be done.

Pick an appropriate time, Make sure it is not in front of their friends, or when they are stressed with work/homework.
Be specific about the exact behaviour – point out the one thing you would like to discuss.
Focus on the behaviour, not on them personally.
Mention positives (I am sure there are 100 positive things that they do)
Stay in the present – if you dig up previous issues the conversation will quickly deteriorate.
Understand why you feel the way you do.
Invite an explanation (there might be a good one!!!).
Stay in control – don’t lose it.
Separate facts from feelings
Know when to stop – if you keep pushing you will get resistance
Offer forgiveness and options.

There you have it. While not fool proof, the next time you need to have “one of those chats” it might just be a little more pleasant, and most importantly, you might get a more positive outcome.

In other views

It was beautiful weather in Melbourne on the weekend. On Sunday it got up to 33 degrees. Your editor went to his nephews birthday party, and then spent a lot of time with the kids in the pool.

Your editors three your old son is learning to swim, and spends most of his time in the pool, on a little blow up boat. Your editor decided it would be fun to once again jump on the boat with him. Rather than sitting flat down your editor stayed on his knees. This meant that the blow up went under the water where is knees were, and must to his son’s distaste, the boat started taking on water.

He screamed. His mum ran out to see what was wrong. She found him neck height in water with her husband behind him, on a now submerged boat, trying to paddle to the side!!! She grabbed the paddle and brought them to the side of the pool.

‘I never want you to go in the boat with me again Daddy’ Joel said as he dried himself by the pool.

‘It’s a deal’.

Cheers

Andrew Collings


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Parenting: Benefits of Reading

Goal Setting, Health and Parenting Ezine

In today’s article
Time Management – Starting Early
Health: Cranberries – are you getting enough
Parenting: Reading


Editor’s Note: Not receiving Goals-4-Life every day, please white list us so that we can get through the spam filters!!!

Time Management – Starting Early

In today’s article we thought we would look at some benefits for starting your day early. And there are a few!!! Listed below are seven benefits:
Work on yourself: It is a fantastic time to give direction to yourself and to see where you want to go.
Exercise: You can do you squats, go for a jog or do aerobics – afterwards you will feel energised and ready to progress the day.
Do important stuff – got a job that has been hanging over you? Why not do it first thing – it will be a great relief when you finish it, and you will feel energised to do the smaller stuff later in the day.
Longer day – the earlier you get up the more day light you have.
Meditate – not a huge one for me, but a lot of people swear by meditation first thing in the morning.
Beat the traffic – if you don’t like peak hour traffic, leave before it – the time saving benefits will be huge.
Do something for someone else – if you are wanting to do things for others but never find the time, get up early and do it first thing. It will be a great start to the day.

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Healthy: Cranberries – are you getting enough?

Cranberries, are an acidic berry that are rich in Vitamin C and contain some fantastic infection fighting properties.

To boot, cranberries also have heaps of antioxidant phenols – in fact more than 19!!! Making them a great way to protect yourself from Cancer.

BenefitsRecent scientific research shows from? Cranberry Institute (Massachusetts USA) that cranberries and cranberry products contain significant amounts of antioxidants and other phytonutrients that may help protect against heart disease, cancer and other diseases.
The majority of physicians and other health professionals believe there is a clear association between a diet high in fruits and vegetables and a low risk of chronic disease. Phytonutrients (naturally derived plant compounds), particularly antioxidants, are increasingly being shown to help optimize human health.
So make sure you buy some cranberries, or cranberry juice next time you are at the shops.

Parenting: Benefits of Reading

Editors Note: Today we have an article from Andrea Ross talking about the benefits of reading. Andrea runs the just one more book website, which is a 100 percent free site, and is powered on passion.

When our firstborn was a toddler and we were still adjusting to the financial impact of parenthood, my husband and I figured that the best way to decide which toddler activities to invest in was to list the various options, the benefits of each and then make an informed choice.

So away we went: swimming, music, dance, gym, books.

Although I was leaning heavily in the direction of expanding our tiny book collection, even I was surprised to discover, using common sense alone, just how much the benefits of reading outweighed all the others.

Reading a wide variety of well-written, engaging children’s books with our child would provide occasions for cozy, family bonding and easy, relatively cheap, entertainment any time any place. It would give us opportunities to laugh together, to learn together, to explore places, animals and situations that would feed her curiosity, prepare her for otherwise scary situations and ignite her imagination. It would provide a quiet, self-paced oasis in a fast-paced world. It would stretch her attention span. It would build patience.

Reading carefully crafted children’s books would increase our daughter’s vocabulary, her grasp of language and grammar and help her understand the structure of a story – a skill that would make learning to read much simpler, and would help her to understand and make herself understood in the world around her.

A daily, consistent and steady diet of high quality picture books, covering a wide range of attitudes, content, situations and storylines along with many examples of and an open invitation to process, compare and contrast would help our daughter learn to observe, differentiate, predict, infer and deduce. It would help her develop empathy, understanding and tolerance; to gather and synthesize information; to perceive the subtleties in the situations that surround her and to make wise, informed decisions.

We never did finish that list. We headed straight to the library.

Andrea Ross is co-creator of the Children’s Book Podcasts Just One More Book!! and Swimming In Literary Soup. Through these podcasts and their websites, Andrea and co-creator Mark Blevis are building a lively, interactive community that links children's book authors, illustrators, readers, librarians and publishers. Andrea lives in the heart of Canada's capital with her husband, two daughters and a ridiculously large number of children's books.


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Advertisement

We are currently working on a list of 249 words that you must know. if you want to be successful.

The resource includes the key words that separate successful people from the rest, as well as detailed descriptions, and their correct use.

The list will help at job interviews, promotions and for public speaking, even when trying to get a loan or in your relationship!!!

We are trying to keep the price under $100, we will let you know how we go.

If you would like a sneak peak at part of the list, please send an e-mail to enquiry@goals-4-life.com with “free info on 249 words” in the header.


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In other views

Yesterday was Melbourne Cup Day which is a public holiday for much of Australia. The Melbourne Cup is a horse race, and is often called “the race that stops the nation”. While we normally don’t care to much for horse racing, and must admit we didn’t actually watch the race, we had an interest in one of the races earlier on in the day.

One of our friends from work, J.M owns a horse that was running. J.M has often seen his horse as a bad investment, to date it has only managed to come in near the back of the field at best – he always says at least it’s a tax deduction!!!

Yesterday was different; his horse got off to a bad start, but about half way through the race one of the horses at the front fell and took several other horses with it. The end result: J.M’s horse literally jogged over the line in second place. The horse is truly a good investment again!!! The odds were 20-1 so anyone who bet did quite well.

For background:

MELBOURNE CUP DAY
Australian certainly love their leisure. They also worship sport . Though renowned for their egalitarianism , they are found of "the sport of king ."And one race every year stops the entire nation from working . Even if they are not actually present - instead glued to their telvevision sceens or their transistors - Australiana all over the country , of every age and from every walk of life , follow the horse running in Melbourne Cup .
Melbourne Cup Day is fixed for the first Tusday in November . The race is recognized as one of the World 's greatest handicap races. It is held at Flemington , a Melbourne suburb which is called after a butcher who once lived there.
The first Cup was run in 1861 . There were 17 starters and , paradoxically , the prize - apart from the money (170 pounds ) - was not a cup at all , but a hand - beaten gold watch . Archer, the Winning horse , had walked to Melbourne from its stable in Nowra ,New South Wales , a distance of 500 miles (800km)


Cheers

Andrew Collings

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